Run for God
This spring I reluctantly joined a Bible Study at church called Run for God, which is a Christian program designed to take anybody through training for a 5k. Now, I say "reluctantly" because: 1) this was a running. Bible. study. I just couldn't wrap my brain around studying the Bible and running at the same time. I mean, really? Was this just a half-hearted attempt at calling a running group Christian? I didn't get it. 2) I am a very independent individual, so running with a group just isn't my style. How could we all go the same speed if some have never run before and others are marathoners? And we have to go the same speed if we're studying the Bible at the same time, right??? Nothing about it really sounded fun to me. And if I can add a third, 3) they advertised it as being "fun." Well, running and fun just don't go together in my book. I like to be active, but running any sort of distance just bores me out of my mind. (And yes, to this sprinter, a 5k is distance). :) But, I knew I needed to learn to at least like running because I signed up for my first triathlon and needed a practice race. For whatever reason, I was willing. Maybe I liked the fact that if I joined, it would be on my calendar and it would be a night away. A night to myself doing what I chose to do. An uninterrupted night of training. Training for my triathlon. Little did I know that God had other "training" in mind.
Over the course of the 12 week program I learned how very wrong, pessimistic, and fairly prideful I had been. This challenge fell right in my lap, at just the right time. And only GOD could have done that. Through our weekly meetings, I built friendships, I strengthened relationships, I received accountability (in life and in training), and I learned about myself. God taught me A LOT about myself, but it wasn't easy.
I looked forward to Tuesday nights. We ran in the snow. We ran in the rain. We ran in the cold. And sometimes we even got a little sunshine. Regardless, I found myself (mostly) enjoying the run. { There was one time I had chili for dinner... and another I had some sort of virus I thought I could run through but ended up almost passing out... Learning curve! But other than that ;) }
And then there was race day. I was crazy nervous! That morning, on the ride there, I struggled to figure out the source of my nerves. All I could think is, "THIS is why I don't sign up for this stuff. This is NOT fun." I just make myself so incredibly nervous. It's the pressure I put on myself. But why??? I didn't know.
So, long story short, I did not enjoy the race. It was in full sun & HOT. I felt miserable. I'd been struggling with 2 ribs being out of place for the week prior, so every step I took was painful. I felt like I couldn't get enough air. I was sweaty and my shoes were all of the sudden too tight. My hands were swelling. My mouth was dry. I just wanted to be done (and that was only at the 1/2 mile mark)! I argued with myself the entire run. "Just stop thinking about everything. Look around. One foot in front of the other. You can do this. This is ridiculous! I don't have to keep running. I don't even have to be here!" It seemed like it was never going to end. People were passing me (who looked like they shouldn't be passing me - hello pride - and I was just mad. So that said, I finally sprinted to the finish and was met by my beaming family who were there to encourage and support me. They did, but I feel like I let them down. I was three seconds off of my goal time. I was devastated. I felt like a failure. I was in a ton of physical pain. I did not have fun, but I didn't want my children to sense any of this. I had to be a good example of what a good sport looks like because this was a learning opportunity for them. A very teachable moment. Have I ever told you that that is how God teaches ME these days???? Through my children. …A very teachable moment it was. ;)
Despite what I was dealing with, this was a great experience for my boys. They each chose to race in the kids race. Owen ran 1/2 mile and Luka 1/4. They had fun! I'm proud of them for getting out of their comfort zone and trying something new. They truly enjoyed it, and did very well, I might add.
Over the course of the 12 week program I learned how very wrong, pessimistic, and fairly prideful I had been. This challenge fell right in my lap, at just the right time. And only GOD could have done that. Through our weekly meetings, I built friendships, I strengthened relationships, I received accountability (in life and in training), and I learned about myself. God taught me A LOT about myself, but it wasn't easy.
I looked forward to Tuesday nights. We ran in the snow. We ran in the rain. We ran in the cold. And sometimes we even got a little sunshine. Regardless, I found myself (mostly) enjoying the run. { There was one time I had chili for dinner... and another I had some sort of virus I thought I could run through but ended up almost passing out... Learning curve! But other than that ;) }
And then there was race day. I was crazy nervous! That morning, on the ride there, I struggled to figure out the source of my nerves. All I could think is, "THIS is why I don't sign up for this stuff. This is NOT fun." I just make myself so incredibly nervous. It's the pressure I put on myself. But why??? I didn't know.
So, long story short, I did not enjoy the race. It was in full sun & HOT. I felt miserable. I'd been struggling with 2 ribs being out of place for the week prior, so every step I took was painful. I felt like I couldn't get enough air. I was sweaty and my shoes were all of the sudden too tight. My hands were swelling. My mouth was dry. I just wanted to be done (and that was only at the 1/2 mile mark)! I argued with myself the entire run. "Just stop thinking about everything. Look around. One foot in front of the other. You can do this. This is ridiculous! I don't have to keep running. I don't even have to be here!" It seemed like it was never going to end. People were passing me (who looked like they shouldn't be passing me - hello pride - and I was just mad. So that said, I finally sprinted to the finish and was met by my beaming family who were there to encourage and support me. They did, but I feel like I let them down. I was three seconds off of my goal time. I was devastated. I felt like a failure. I was in a ton of physical pain. I did not have fun, but I didn't want my children to sense any of this. I had to be a good example of what a good sport looks like because this was a learning opportunity for them. A very teachable moment. Have I ever told you that that is how God teaches ME these days???? Through my children. …A very teachable moment it was. ;)
Despite what I was dealing with, this was a great experience for my boys. They each chose to race in the kids race. Owen ran 1/2 mile and Luka 1/4. They had fun! I'm proud of them for getting out of their comfort zone and trying something new. They truly enjoyed it, and did very well, I might add.
It took me a good week to get over my feelings from that day. And God began to do a work in my life that I can only attribute to Him, because it is so not like me. I realized I needed to get rid of the numbers. No more keeping track. No speed, no heart rate, no times. Just me and Him. I used my training runs as my quiet time. I talked with Him. I started by thanking Him for the ability to get up and move. I thanked Him for the beauty and creativity of His creation. I prayed for my family, my loved ones, my church, our country. I prayed that He would help me start to enjoy this process because I believe it was something He lead me to do in the first place. I prayed that He would help me to get comfortable being uncomfortable. I prayed that he would give me the strength to finish what I started. Well, I can tell you that it is the most successful, efficient, to-the-point prayer time I have ever had. I just had a clearness of mind that I usually don't have when praying. (I'm so easily distracted ;) I started to feel good when I ran. I started to improve. I started to have fun. I looked forward to getting up early and running with God.
Let me tell you, this was a tough process for me. But I'm so thankful God dragged me through it. I saw just what a neat parallel running and life are; especially the twists and turns my life is taking right now. Homeschooling is a hard thing. Training for a triathlon is a hard thing. And living a life for Christ is a hard thing.
There are a few verses the Lord laid on my heart over the past few months. One of them is Hebrews 12:1-2.
"Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us, fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Finisher of our faith. For the joy set before Him He endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God."
One step at a time I chose to trust that if He endured the cross, I could surely endure this. I find it's easy for me to trust Him with the big, hard, nasty things. But I learned to trust Him for things I never really knew I needed Him for. And the cool thing is, HE CARES ABOUT THE LITTLE THINGS!
When I needed it most, God placed this in front of me: a blog post from crosswalk.com, entitled "Running to Win," by Margaret D. Mitchell. What she said really resonated with me. "If you know who you are in Christ—that He alone has already made you victorious when you received Him as Lord and Savior—then you can start, run and finish the race like a champion... (She goes on to explain what a champion is).
Regarding Phillipians 3:14, which says, "I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus," we have to have God’s mind (not our carnally-driven emotions or limited knowledge)—His purpose, vision, focus--(what my blog is about right there!) to make it through. As we do our part, He will meet us by His grace to help us fulfill His destiny for us. We cannot do it by leaning on our own understanding because our prior training, education and experience will be insufficient for where He desires to take us. Again, only God's grace is sufficient to help us.
Too many people try to serve God in their own strength, not by His Spirit, which wears people out because God will always call us up higher than we can go on our own... (that was me - sore ribs, pride, and all)
A major key in running the race is to not give up, no matter what. God has predestined our destinies. And we have a choice whether we are willing to cooperate. He co-labors with us to facilitate manifest victory. Jesus is the leader and completer of our faith. And since He endured the cross for our benefit, how can we say “no” to Him?"
This has been my prayer: "Father God, Thank You that You are always for me, that You are always bigger than my challenges, that Your grace is sufficient for anything I encounter. Thank You that Your truth will set me free and that You see me through Your Son, Jesus, as victorious. I choose this day to lay down every encumbrance to running the race You have set before me. Please forgive me for carrying burdens You never intended for me to carry and for not trusting You with them. Thank You that Your yoke is light and that You will never leave my side. I relinquish it all to you, believing you will instruct me how to run to completion…Your way. Amen."
And so I continue to train - - -
How 'bout you? Whatever your 'race' is, I pray that you will look to His example of endurance. "Do not grow weary... or lose heart. For in due season, we shall reap!" Galatians 6:9