Why I Became a Homeschool Mom
Thinking about becoming a homeschool mom? I can't speak for all, but I want to share with you why I became a homeschool mom. Whether you are or are not homeschooling, the question is often asked, "why." Why did you choose to homeschool your children? Being a homeschool mom is something I NEVER saw myself doing. Actually, I have said it's something I would NEVER do. Well, if there's one thing I've learned it's that you NEVER say 'never,' cuz boy does God have a sense of humor about such things. ;) Seriously though, the question is often asked, Why do you homeschool? So, grab a cup of coffee. I'd like to share with you the reasons I (hear, God) changed my mind.
From the Beginning:
Etched on my heart are those days before my oldest son was about to head into kindergarten. I was DREADING it. I had so enjoyed our time together at home. Sweet mornings of reading, going for walks, exploring in the neighborhood pond, and snuggling at nap time were wonderful. It made me terribly sad to think he wouldn't be part of those special moments anymore.As the day grew near, we went through all the motions with excitement. He never complained or showed any signs of fear or anxiety. But there was a quiet ache in my heart that I was forced to deal with. After all, this is part of life. I had to let him grow up. But, come the big day, it physically grieved my heart to let him step up on that enormous yellow bus. I cried most of the day. I remember feeling that he was so young (and little) to be going through four and a half hours a day without me, and something just didn't sit right in my heart. But I ignored it. Altogether he had a wonderful introduction to school, thanks to a warm and nurturing teacher.
Here's the Story:
Two years later, my second son had the same teacher and a similar experience. But during those years, as I fought off those nagging feelings of discomfort, I noticed a change, mostly in my oldest son. The creative questions he was known for asking, stopped. He began to disliked reading with a passion. He was harder to handle emotionally and often came home exhausted and angry. We then had to add to that stress, a couple hours of homework each night. Homework that had changed so much from when I was a child that I did not recognize how to do it. [Second-grade math we're talking! So I would teach him the way I knew how, and he would get a letter home saying, "Please don't teach him this method. This is not the way we are teaching him here." Ugh. That's a whole other story. You can learn more here. All of this confusion just added fuel to the fire.We experienced tears of frustration all too frequently (from both of us). Our once peaceful, joyful home was suffering through some very stressful growing pains, and I did not like it. I wanted my children to thrive. I wanted to thrive. But I felt like we were merely surviving. I was burdened for the hearts of my children, yet I felt like I was just holding my head above water.
The Missing Piece:
Now, I realize that growing pains are not only common, but they are necessary. I get that. I do. But there's an element to my story here that is missing. It was missing from my parenting many years ago too. The point is that God does lead, guide, and direct through the Holy Spirit if we let him. Up until that point, I had not let God be part of this schooling dilemma. I was going to figure it out or fight it until everyone was happy.Well, have you ever tried to ignore God??? I did. The Holy Spirit was whispering to me. Maybe the direction I needed to take, for the sake of my children and family, was homeschooling. And I said "Absolutely not! That is not for me. I am no homeschool mom." But no one was happy, let alone thriving. We were all in survival mode.
When Things Changed:
Ya know, God, and his infinite grace... Once I had given the idea of homeschooling a chance to simmer a while in my bull-headed brain, I started to see what it could look like for us. It was kind of like when you are newly engaged. Everything you see is rings, dresses, flowers, romance, etc. Or when you're expecting your first baby, you only have eyes for baby clothes, baby furniture, baby health care products, baby blankets and other sweet little baby things, and babies! That is how the Lord worked in my heart.Everything I saw & heard was about homeschooling. I began to get emails, and fliers in the mail, none of which I had ever signed up for. I sat next to a lady in a waiting room who brought it up once. At a conference, I was placed at a table of women who either had been or were homeschooling. For years, the Lord had laid scripture on my heart in regards to parenting and the hearts of my children. Now, it was being brought up in sermons and my Bible studies. All of this was taking place in a non-homeschool community, mind you. Until finally, I told my husband, "I think I need to tell you something. But I don't want to talk about it... Because I don't want to do it."
Coming Clean:
Well, you can imagine the suspicion in his mind. But when I finally told him, his face lit up and he was about to say something.... And I literally ran out of the room saying, "I don't want to talk about it, remember!" I kid you not. This is how it all went down.Days later, I finally agreed to talk about it. He calmly said, "I was wondering if you'd ever be willing to be a homeschool mom. I never want you to feel pressured into it by me." Well, I was hoping he'd be my roadblock, and he wasn't. But! I had one more. My mom! She always tells it like it is! She was either gonna tell me, "Are you kidding?! You can't take on that responsibility! Or, Oh my! I've been praying about this for you. I think it's a wonderful idea!" Either way, I was terrified to bring it up. So God did.
My Intervention:
My parents were visiting our church one Sunday morning, and when I went to grab my coat from an empty chair, my mother, who was in conversation close by, puts her arm on my shoulder and says, "You have got to talk to this woman. She is the homeschool director of a group that meets not too far from your house, and she knows all about your trouble with the curriculum in the boys' school." Welp, no road block there! At that point, it was almost laughable. I actually said out loud, "Are you kidding me?!" Then I had to come clean to both my mom and this nice woman (who happened to be my toddler's Sunday School teacher) about what the Lord was asking me to do.I'll try to my this long story short. I met that nice woman for coffee the very next day. She showed me some homeschooling material. I asked a LOT of questions. The diverse options of homeschooling had opened my eyes. I realized that this is why I felt the tug on my heart these past several years. I could no longer ignore it. Would I be obedient or not?
My Response:
Yes. This was what the Lord was asking me to do. And ya know, since the decision, I have had such a peace about it. (Not always showered, with hair and makeup on, but none-the-less at peace in my heart). I laugh at how obvious it was that this is what the Lord had for my family and me. Because of this, I knew He would give me the strength, wisdom, and patience, to be a good teacher.
For three years, I have been a homeschool mom. It has been so rewarding but it's also the hardest thing I've ever done. (I wrote a post about that here). It may not be the right answer for everyone. But I am saying, it was the right answer for us because God was working in my heart to that end.
Where is Your Heart?
I would encourage you to pay attention to that still small voice. His voice. God cares about which school we pick. He cares about our home life. He cares about the hearts of our children. And he cares when we carry unnecessary burdens.So, wherever your child is being schooled, why? If you feel that 'why' question pop up in your mind or heart, I would encourage you to sit with it for a while. We all want to do our best. We all want what is best for our children, but sometimes our best is not God's best.Often, I am re-evaluating my priorities. God still shows me that I can best minister to the hearts of my children by being a homeschool mom. Ministering to their hearts, not just their minds, is what has allowed my family to thrive. We no longer just survive.
I would love to answer any questions you have in regards to this tough decision. My point is not to sway you one way or another, just to share my story. And maybe you see yourself in between these lines. If you're thinking about becoming a homeschool mom and wondering what it looks like, or if you feel inadequate but your other options aren't much better, please reach out. I am happy to offer any advice I can.Sincerely,Heidi
